For years I have been afraid to pray big prayers. I was a “safe” pray-er. When people would encourage me to pray BIG there was always a bit of a check in my guts that I couldn’t really understand. It stopped me short of really going for it. Well, it stopped me MOST of the time. There were times that I really did pray big… prayers for healing, prayers for relationships to be restored, etc. But I had a problem with those prayers while was praying them… I didn’t really believe that they would be answered the way I was asking.
I believe my theology of prayer was messed up.
To be fair, I had a humble attitude toward the sovereignty of God with my prayers. I remember praying confidently that if God wanted these things to happen then He would make them happen. But I also remember admitting in my prayers that if these things weren’t His will, then we would accept it and move on.
Right attitude… wrong prayer.
Today, I pray with new vigor. I pray for CRAZY stuff, and I am realizing that I don’t know how to pray big enough. BIG has been dwarfed by what has actually happened. If prayers were a restaurant order, I ordered a junior cheeseburger… plain. What I received was a triple cheeseburger with all of the fixings and two sides.
What has changed with my prayer life? What is the difference?
I believe one of the reasons I was afraid to pray BIG was that I somehow believed that I had to obey BIG to make it happen. Somehow I was on the spot to guarantee the results of the prayer. I didn’t pray BIG for God to change the heart of the church I was helping to re-DNA. I didn’t pray for God to bring alignment on the team He pulled together to plant a church. I didn’t pray for God to resource that new church plant. I did pray that God would help me persevere through my circumstances. I did pray that He would make me into a more godly man through those time. I did pray that I would represent Jesus in all of my dealings. I was good to go with those prayers.
But I would not regularly pray for God to demonstrate His power in any more grand style than that. Why not?
I think it is because I bought a lie.
I somehow believed that if I did pray that “recklessly,” then I would need to deliver the goods. I would need to be a big part of the answer to those prayers. SILLY! But that is what was keeping me from praying BIG in the first place.
Now… I would never have said that because that theology is WAY messed up. BUT… if you were to XRAY my spiritual heart at that time you would see a hole there with power leaking out of it.
So, what has changed? I finally found the key to what I am to do AFTER asking the BIG prayer.
And it isn’t OBEY BIG.
Today, I follow my BIG prayers with obeying small. Obeying small is simply listening to the impulses of God’s Spirit and obeying Him… regardless of whether it makes sense or not. Whether it has anything to do with the prayer or not. It doesn’t matter if it was on the day’s agenda or not.
God has a way of going from point c to point q then back to point f to get to point z.
I don’t understand it.
I am not required to understand it.
I am simply the tool in His hand to pray, listen, obey, and then watch Him work. I CAN DO THAT!Back to Blog